Tag: Time Capsule

Weekend Doomscroll

Boat of aid to Gaza
“Can Thunberg swim well?”
With Jet2 holidays you can save 50 pounds per person!
I have a partner I wanted to fcuk hard
but so out of reach, so far away.
I see a wrinkle in my eye—
a permanent mark, to where I show my smile.
With the Statue of Liberty in the background,
I realized the ferry was free.
Zohran Mamdani for Mayor in NYC,
Catching up with memes,
at katok sa pinto. Tao sa tao.
Kampanyang ala-Leni Robredo.

Sa kabila ng kawalan ng Pinoy
as IG reels representative ng boycott,
Namumutiktik sila sa Facebook.
Habang pinuputakte ng Zionist
at bashers at troll farmers
ang targeted ads na pusa
at NCAP at mga pagtatakip sa plate ng sasakyan.
May bago na palang taxi mula sa Vietnam.
Kung saan tayo ang dating nagtuturo
ng pagpapalay, at pagbibigas, sila na
ang nag-eexport ng expertise
sa patuloy na lumulubog
na Pilipinas.

Ruby-chan! Hai! Nani ga suki?
Pinatay muna ang social media.
Nagtungo sa messenger,
nakita ang balita.

May isang kaibigang
tumigil ang mundo.
Binisita ko nitong
nakaraang linggo,
at ang nakita ko ay pagkakabuklod,
ng mga kaanak, kaibigan,
at akong random classmate
ng isang yumao.
Hindi ko alam kung ang pagtutula(ng ito)
ay makapagbigay hustisya
sa mga nakaraang araw ng pahinga.

Nagulat ako at nagising:
Tanghali na.
Lunes na (naman!)

Poetics:

This is my tiktok and IG and facebook last weekend, with a touch of me-time cooking left-overs and ganking in ML. I visited a high school classmate and I felt fear and loneliness because I was a very extrovert, but now with a bookish community being broken about the issues with the Philippines as the Guest of Honor in Frankfurt Buchmesse, I don’t even know where to start building a community again. Maybe I was outrageous of it being broken, or I overthink too much. Maybe all I need to do is to reach out to friends who can help me when I get old, and visit them and talk to them heart-to-heart.

That visit of the dead made me think if I invested enough, or should I start caving in again and be ready. Sigh, is this what the midlife crisis is? Or maybe another episode of existential dread…?

Electorate Anxiety: 2022 Time Capsule

I was able to go back the prior facebook postings about PH elections and I wasn’t able to execute that long essay. Three years down the lane, I am, yet again, anxious.

***wishing to write a long essay about witnessing a police intimidating a voter first-hand, and how the ambience of going out at 5:30AM feeling like it was snap elections; me remembering F. Sionil Jose asking me why I voted for Duterte and I simply answered “Because I wanted to see the country burn on the grounds, so that the poor and the middle class will rise again and fight back”, and I added that “because we needed a bigger crisis than the status quo, so that we can spark a movement bigger than what was before”, and I remembered having the ODAs sinking our nation, my house undergoing a huge housing loan, and my angst with the lesser #pribilej having no access to insurance and friendly financing; plus the covid-19 pandemic and bb wearing plastic cover and paracetamol as his very first faceshield; how Benedict Exconde died not asking help for VP Leni’s e-consulta even though his friends asked for his behalf but because he did not give consent, he died; how we Filipinos are so divided because of our two-sided narratives and eaten up with disinformation and re-branding; and how this culminates to this #electionanxiety I am feeling that I just wanted to vomit all and kill/jail the Marcoses but in reality, I am walking the concrete jungle of BGC, looking at the patch of greenery across the Uptown mall and realizing “Tangina manalo si Leni o hindi, makukuha pa rin ng Megaworld ang tipak na lupa na ito at gagawing carpark”***

Sa kabila ng lahat, laban guys. Lumaban tayo bilang Pilipino.